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UNBELIEVABLEY CONSTIPATED HELP

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Views: 425
Posts: 48
 
Legend
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Joined: Jan, 2008
Posts: 33103
Posted: #26
Don't listen to any of these fuckheads..their remedies are like taking a tylenol 3 hours after open heart surgery.........take 3 tablespoons of molasses into 8-12 oz warm milk and your shit will litterally hit the ceiling up to an hour later.....and it even smells sweet.
 
Old school MD therapy...Sugar is a strong stimulant for motility....that's why you should never drink milk for nausea....13 grams of sugar in 8 oz of milk will most likely cause you to hurl within a matter of 30 minutes
 
All-Star
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Joined: Feb, 2006
Posts: 13189
Posted: #27
just get one of those over the counter pill where you plug it up your a-hole, it works within 10 minutes...I used it for my little 2 year old daughter whenever she feels constipated. 
 
Veteran
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Joined: Nov, 2006
Posts: 2779
Posted: #28
really?
 
All-Star
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Joined: Nov, 2007
Posts: 10502
Posted: #29
Put some pepper up your ass until sneezes.  
 
All-Star
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Joined: Sep, 2007
Posts: 11059
Posted: #30
''''' T-A-K-E....T-H-E...L-I-G-H-T....B-U-L-B...O-U-T...O-F....Y-O-U-R.....ASS ''
 
Captain
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Joined: Sep, 2007
Posts: 5199
Posted: #31
on of the first things that typically happens post-mortum is the evacuation of the bowels............
 
Captain
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Joined: Jan, 2008
Posts: 5481
Posted: #32
Go down to the store and get you  those bullets.   I sucks sticking them up your bung hole......But they work!   In like 10 mins.         Ive used them to cut weight before....  Good product
 
Legend
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Joined: Jan, 2008
Posts: 33103
Posted: #33
Any Baby Ruth?
 
Rookie
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Joined: Feb, 2008
Posts: 821
Posted: #34
Quote Originally Posted by Cyrax:

Drink some Lemonade or take some Metamucil.....

the comment itself is not funny, but with cy's avatar it's like a mother scolding on a child

 
Banned
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Joined: Jul, 2008
Posts: 5485
Posted: #35
I think diarrhea is worser than constipation so you have it good.
 
Rookie
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Joined: Feb, 2008
Posts: 821
Posted: #36

You will go.  [/Quote]

ehh, eeh....go go super dump, adopting the new policy of no dump left behind...

just don't stink up the neighorhood

 
Rookie
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Joined: Feb, 2008
Posts: 821
Posted: #37
[Quote: You will go.  [/Quote]
 
Rookie
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Joined: Feb, 2008
Posts: 821
Posted: #38
Quote Originally Posted by teddyp:

Get a vacuum  and suck the shit out your ass, but do not forget to lube your ass up....

hope it's paper bag, otherwise not covered under the warranty

 
Banned
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Joined: Feb, 2008
Posts: 7967
Posted: #39
Quote Originally Posted by Henry-Lilly:

Put some pepper up your ass until sneezes.  

Chrsit that was goddamn funny...

 
Banned
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Joined: Feb, 2008
Posts: 7967
Posted: #40
Quote Originally Posted by -Clutch:

Put your lips to your ass and suck.

 

 
Veteran
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Joined: Sep, 2008
Posts: 1793
Posted: #41
Go to the local College. Get a Professor and have him work it out with a pencil.
 
Veteran
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Joined: Sep, 2008
Posts: 1793
Posted: #42
" just get one of those over the counter pill where you plug it up your a-hole, it works within 10 minutes...I used it for my little 2 year old daughter whenever she feels constipated.  "
 
FYI
 
These are great for curing a bad cough, because
 
 
 
 
 
 
YOU ARE TOO SCARED TO COUGH.
 
Hall of Fame
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Joined: Oct, 2006
Posts: 29184
Posted: #43
Tezza, wtf are you doing here? Your far too good for this shit.
 
Speaking of shit, how has this thread lived as long as this?
 
Take the **** out of your arse and you'll be fine....how hard is it?
 
Veteran
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Joined: Sep, 2008
Posts: 1793
Posted: #44
I got bored.
 
Sorry Mr. Battler SIR
 
Hall of Fame
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Posts: 29184
Posted: #45
By all means Tezza, look around, you'll be pleasantly amused. This guy is a fuckwit, like Craig79
 
Veteran
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Joined: Sep, 2008
Posts: 1793
Posted: #46
Some one should start a joke thread.
Gotta be funny people out there.
Is it allowed?
 
Better than Constipation, Does urine float? and some of that other crap.
 
 
 
Veteran
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Joined: Jan, 2008
Posts: 1801
Posted: #47
It's been 4 days.  I am guessing this guy died a horrible death. 
 
 
Legend
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Joined: Sep, 2008
Posts: 30979
Posted: #48

ban constipated people

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