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Hitchhikers

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Posted: #1

Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy.

After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer.

I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical.

He asked to get off at the next exit.

 
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Posted: #2

thumbs_up

an_cheers

Bravo

 
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Posted: #3

I saved a woman from getting raped today-

 

I stopped following her

Rust never sleeps
 
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Posted: #4

@Midnight1

 So wait. Was there an actual hitchhiker? I'm so deadpan that if I told a story like this, while funny, I'd be so serious. All the way down to the serial killer comment. I would never pick up a hitchhiker though. Not even a chick.

In Bob We Trust
 
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Posted: #5

@rustie

 an_roll_laugh

Savage bro

 
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Posted: #6

an_worship

 
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Posted: #7

I stopped the auto on the pronto ,
on a long stretch at the crossroads ,
I thought I saw a ghost ,
nope , 
just some hobo on a lonely stroll broken from what God chose
For him ,
the vision lingered on my cortex ,
and I was pensive 
cuz that poor piece of shit had a limp and his portly finger was extended ,
so I said imma be a Christian and emitted a  “ get in “
in an instant ,
in a second ,
I wasn’t even hesitant ,
I didn’t even think it ,
I just reflexed it ,
quick , on a whim , in a jif , it wasn’t peanuts , but it’s what I spread to him
He began to get incredulous , skeptical , red nosed , you know , just motherfucckin’ negative
He said this : “ this isn’t the index or the thumb , and you must be dumb , this one’s the middle , and you can stick the Lexus up your cunnt  “
What the fucck ?
is this real life ?
i peeled wheels
hit the pipe ,
wishin’ this miscreant wouldn’t even live to breathe or see another single miserable night
I heard a Tractor Trailer got dat sumbitch
fucck that motherfucckin’ prick , he shoulda just jumped in……

 
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Posted: #8

Funny stuff. Used the thumb a few times back in the day. Got to a few concerts that way and got stoned on the way. Actually met sum cool people thumbing. Picked up a chick in Tampa thumbing early 2000s, last hitchhiker I've seen. Stopped at Lowry Park, burned one and she gave me a BJ, seriously. Wilder days then, much wilder.

"I'm afraid all we may have done is awakened a sleeping giant."
 
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Posted: #9

 
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Posted: #10

@UNIMAN

 A good joke is a good joke no matter where it comes from. Find it kind of odd that you would research a joke. Boring life, huh?

Enough of Covers today. Time for family in beautiful South Florida.

Happy Easter to all!

 
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Posted: #11

Hitchhiked through the state of Florida back in the late 70s. Too many serial killers to list back then, most notably Ottis Toole and Henry Lee Lucas,roaming the highways and byways that I traveled back then. Little scary. Great times though.

 
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Posted: #12

Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit.

Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.

Relax. I'm unvaxxed!
 
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Posted: #13

Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit.

Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.

Relax. I'm unvaxxed!
 
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Posted: #14

Quote Originally Posted by mrusso:

Funny stuff. Used the thumb a few times back in the day. Got to a few concerts that way and got stoned on the way. Actually met sum cool people thumbing. Picked up a chick in Tampa thumbing early 2000s, last hitchhiker I've seen. Stopped at Lowry Park, burned one and she gave me a BJ, seriously. Wilder days then, much wilder.

I used to hook up with runaways in the greyhound bathroom when I was a teenager in the 90s but never hitchhiked or picked up a hitcher.

In Bob We Trust
 
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Posted: #15

@StumpTownStu

 What the hell were you doing hanging around the greyhound bathrooms?

Those are some nasty places Stu.

 
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Posted: #16

This morning our priest was presenting a children’s sermon.

During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

A little boy raised his hand, and said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.”

NOTE TO UNIMAN: IT'S A JOKE

 
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Posted: #17

@Midnight1

 Preferably a doctor named Denisean_wink

"I'm afraid all we may have done is awakened a sleeping giant."
 
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Posted: #18

Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

@StumpTownStu  What the hell were you doing hanging around the greyhound bathrooms? Those are some nasty places Stu.

an_roll_laugh

I used to catch Greyhound from.Oakland to Tahoe to visit my cousins when I was a teenager. There was always a layover of 30 minutes to 2 hours in Sacramento. The main Greyhound terminal, along with a mall, was downtown on the site of the Golden 1 center, the current home of the Kings. There was always activity. And always some skeevy runaway chicks from places like Utah. Running away from the LDS church. Stuff like that. I wasn't much different than them. Well, I was a lot different than them but I still was an unaccompanied minor. Good times of a misspent youth.

In Bob We Trust
 
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Posted: #19

Quote Originally Posted by mctrap:

Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1: Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit. Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.
If Gateway Pundit tells you it must be true.peace_5  

Sharp as a spoon
 
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Posted: #20

Quote Originally Posted by vetdrm:

Hitchhiked through the state of Florida back in the late 70s. Too many serial killers to list back then, most notably Ottis Toole and Henry Lee Lucas,roaming the highways and byways that I traveled back then. Little scary. Great times though.

Hitchhiking back in the 70’s was a popular mode of travel. Gas, Grass, or Azz.  Nobody rode for free.  
One guy I picked up all the time was a serious bad azz and when people saw me hanging with him NOBODY fukked with me. Funny shlt!!!

~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
 
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Posted: #21

Quote Originally Posted by lennon65:

Bravo

No, hitchhiker jokes went out of style probably around 1975. Pretty sad that someone would recycle an out of date joke from 47 years ago just to get some attention.  att_please   confused

Relax. I'm unvaxxed!
 
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Posted: #22

@mctrap

 Ah, but it rekindled sum memories.bigsmile

"I'm afraid all we may have done is awakened a sleeping giant."
 
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Posted: #23

new_dead

 
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Posted: #24

Quote Originally Posted by mctrap:

Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1: Picked up a hitchhiker today. He seemed like a nice guy. After a while though, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds that two unrelated serial killers were in the same car at the same time were astronomical. He asked to get off at the next exit. Totally credible since you openly support mass murderers like Gates and Fauci.

you NEED to be put down

 
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Posted: #25

Donald Trump was driving his daughter Ivanka through Atlantic City and told her, “Honey, one of these days your name will be on the top of all these buildings … if you marry a guy named Borgata.” 

- a wasted Artie Lange circa 2004, roasting Trump (who looked pissed)

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